


softness came from the starlight (and filled me full to the bone)

by jemmasimmmons



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, F/M, Post Season 4 Finale, post framework healing, some angst with a happy hopeful ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemmasimmmons/pseuds/jemmasimmmons
Summary: ‘So I guess I have a baby now.’'Yes. I guess we do.’Fitz and Jemma accidentally become intergalactic babysitters.





	softness came from the starlight (and filled me full to the bone)

**Author's Note:**

> i got prompted this on tumblr, and it completely ran away from me! and, yes, percy is named for percy jackson. i have absolutely no shame.
> 
> the title comes from w. b. yeats' poem 'the wanderings of oisin'. i hope you enjoy this!
> 
> i'm on tumblr @jeemmasimmons

 

 

Sitting at her bench in the space station lab, Jemma’s head snaps up when she hears Fitz’s raised voice coming from the hallway.

Her heart thumps as she realises she hasn’t heard him be so loud for weeks, not since he was another person, in another world. Swallowing hard, she pushes her stool back from the work bench and leaves the lab to find him.

The ceilings of the station’s corridors are curved, and painted a sickening shade of green that still makes Jemma’s stomach turn even after a fortnight of living there. She bites down the taste of nausea, and hurries down the hallway to where Fitz is standing with his back to her, two of the station’s security guards in front of him.

The guards leave as she approaches, throwing one last glance over their shoulders, and, hearing her footsteps behind him, Fitz turns to meet her. When she sees what he is holding in his arms, Jemma gasps.

‘Fitz! Is that…’

Cradled in the crook of her best friend’s elbow is a baby, with chubby arms and podgy legs, and skin that is completely and utterly blue.

Its eyes blink up at her, such a dark purple that they are almost black, and it stuffs its fingers in its mouth with a cheeky grin.

‘A Kree baby,’ Fitz confirms, awkwardly shifting it in his arms. ‘Apparently it was found in a pod outside the station’s doors. They think it must have gotten caught in an asteroid belt, knocked off course and lost its family.’

Jemma frowns in sympathy, and reaches out to touch the baby’s head. It has only a little hair there, which is thin, dark and wispy, and incredibly soft. ‘Poor thing,’ she murmurs, then frowns up at Fitz. ‘What were you shouting about?’

He shrugs. ‘They were going to take it away,’ he explains. ‘Run some tests on it, that’s what they said. And I know that they wouldn’t hurt it, I know that really. But I still couldn’t help feeling like I couldn’t just let them take it away, not knowing what they might do-’

His voice cracks, and Jemma feels her chest tighten. Given recent events, it makes perfect sense for him to be more sensitive to the idea of testing, especially when it came to living things. She doesn’t blame him from taking the baby from the guards; she would have done the exact same thing.

Fitz gives a shaky sigh, and looks up at her. ‘I know that’s irrational,’ he admits.

‘No.’ Jemma shakes her head immediately. ‘No, it’s not, Fitz.’

He regards her for a moment, as though he is tempted to believe her, and then looks back to the baby. ‘They said if I was that worried about it then I could look after it until we find a way to send it back to where it came from. Then they gave it to me, and left.’ He licks his lips anxiously. ‘So I guess I have a baby now.’

Following his gaze, Jemma observes the baby. She has seen Kree before, of course, but only adults and never this close up. The baby is maybe nine months old, but a little larger than a human baby of that age would be. Held in Fitz’s arms, it struggles, and Jemma notices that he is holding the baby very uncertainly, one hand under its elbow and the other under its bottom.

Opening her arms, Jemma raises one eyebrow at Fitz, who gives her a little nod and offers the baby forward. She takes it onto her hip, surprised to feel how heavy it is, but when it catches her eye and grins again, it is with so warm a smile that Jemma cannot help smiling back.

‘Yes,’ she observes, glancing up at Fitz. ‘I guess we do.’

The look of relief on his face as he realises they are in this together now is like the first drop of rain after a year’s worth of drought.

 

* * *

 

 

‘He needs a name.’

Jemma realises this as she is sitting in the refectory with the baby on her lap, trying to coax him to drink from the spoon.

He had gotten grisly after about an hour in the lab, and Fitz had made the genius suggestion that he might be hungry. They had taken him down to the space station’s refectory, thankfully empty at this time of day, and since they weren’t sure what solids he might be able to handle, had made up some powdered milk to try him on. The baby isn’t particularly keen on this, and keeps twisting his head away from the spoon, his lips clamped tightly shut.

Having only been able to stomach one cup of tea with the stuff since she’d been here, Jemma knows exactly how he feels.

Sitting across the table from her, Fitz wrinkles his nose. ‘Are you sure it’s a he?’

‘ _Yes_ , Fitz, I’m sure.’ Lifting her gaze to him, Jemma waggles her eyebrows. ‘Unless you want to do the next nappy change, and double check for me?’

He pulls a face, as she had imagined he might, and takes the bowl of milk from in front of her. Recognising that the baby isn’t interested in what she is trying to give him, Jemma puts the spoon down with a sigh.

‘A name, then,’ Fitz says, as he reaches into one of the cupboards and takes out a small, cream packet. ‘Any ideas?’

‘I don’t know any Kree names,’ Jemma admits, watching as he opens the packet. It is dehydrated banana, lots of dried, yellow disks that fit into Fitz’s hands like poker chips. On her lap, she bounces the baby, making him giggle. ‘It would be nice to call him something he’d recognise, but I don’t think it’s possible, I’m afraid.’

Frowning, Fitz dumps the banana into the bowl of milk, using his finger to stir them around. ‘Okay, so he can’t have a Kree name. What about a space name?’

Shifting the baby from one knee to the other, Jemma removes her t-shirt from his mouth. ‘How do you mean?’

‘We passed through Beta Persei this morning,’ Fitz tells her. ‘What if we call him after the constellation we found him in?’

‘Perseus?’

‘Or Percy for short?’

‘Percy,’ Jemma repeats, as he pushes the bowl of banana back to her. ‘I like that.’

Taking one piece of fruit onto her spoon, she offers it to the baby. Percy sniffs at it warily, licks it, and finally allows himself to take it into his mouth. Fitz and Jemma wait, with baited breath, as he chews it, his lips smacking.

Then, he looks up at both of them, and beams.

 

* * *

 

 

Things become more difficult when they have to decide where Percy will sleep.

The station has nothing on board that could serve as a cot, and there isn’t enough time for Fitz to build one. Jemma vetoes the idea of the baby sleeping in a bed with one of them, for fear that they would roll over onto him or he would fall off the edge, and neither of them like the idea of him sleeping in a crate, or a cardboard box.

Eventually, Jemma has the idea of putting him to bed in his pod, and they agree that this is the most sensible option for now. It is safe, and it is somewhere familiar for Percy, which will hopefully help him sleep.

Fitz drags the hefty metal pod down the space station hallways, Jemma guiding him around corners with Percy on her hip, but when he gets to the dorm corridor and the two doors opposite each other that lead to their separate rooms, he hesitates.

‘Um…do you…?’

Understanding the question he is trying to ask her, Jemma bites her lip. Around her neck, Percy twists his arms, burying his head into her shoulder, and she lifts him higher in her arms.

‘Officially, he was put under your care,’ she points out. ‘And if they want to find him, they’ll come to your room. So I suppose that means…’

‘…he should sleep in my room,’ Fitz finishes for her, putting his hands on his hips to arch his back.

Jemma nods, trying to ignore the way her heart sinks.

They push the pod into Fitz’s bunk and position it next to his bed.

Glancing around, Jemma takes the room in. She has never been in it before, although she has hovered outside of it many times – waiting for him to come out, wondering whether she should knock to go in – but now she can see that it is a mirror image of her own room, with a bed, chest of drawers and a large, floor to ceiling window. The only difference that she can see is that while she keeps her window’s blind firmly closed, Fitz’s is wide open, showing the wide expanse of space in front of them. Jemma hopes that he doesn’t see her shudder when she looks at it.

Carefully, she detangles Percy’s fingers from her hair and lowers him into his pod. He whimpers slightly at the loss of touch, then, recognising the blankets around him, gives a stifled sniff and quietens.

Jemma lets her fingers trail over the back of his little hand as she gets to her feet, and as she looks up, the softness in Fitz’s eyes temporarily floors her. It was not that she had forgotten what he looked like when he looked at her like that; how could she? But she had forgotten just how wanted it could make her heart feel.

After a moment, she takes a deep breath.

‘Right then,’ she says, purposefully lifting her voice to try and sound more cheerful. ‘I suppose I’ll see you both in the morning.’

With one last glance down at Percy, who is almost asleep already in his pod, Jemma turns to leave.

‘Jemma, wait.’

The sound of Fitz’s voice, combined with the brush of his fingertips against her shoulder, stops her dead in her tracks. Turning around, she is surprised to see the sudden determination in his face.

‘I can bring down the blind,’ Fitz says, letting his hand fall away from her arm.

Wishing he had left it where it was, Jemma frowns. ‘Of course you can,’ she says. ‘There’s a control panel by the window, and you push the lever…’

‘No, Jemma. That’s not what I meant.’ She watches, daring to hope, as Fitz sighs and tries again.

‘If I bring the blind down,’ he corrects himself, ‘would it make you feel more comfortable to stay the night in here…with me?’

Jemma tilts her head to one side. ‘You want me to stay?’

Fitz nods. ‘In case he wakes up,’ he explains, nodding down to Percy. ‘And I can’t make him go back to sleep, or he’s hungry again or whatever. And I know that we decided it’s best if he sleeps in here, but I was wondering whether you’d…whether you would stay too.’

Unexpectedly, Jemma feels a lump appear in her throat. It has been many weeks now since she last slept next to Fitz; many weeks, many galaxies, and an entire other life. Since they’d been on the space station she hasn’t wanted to push the matter, despite how much her body was aching to be near his again, knowing that whatever happened next between them had to be completely his decision. She has missed him so badly, and now she has to wonder whether he has missed her too.

Stepping forward, she lifts her arms to wind them around his waist, pulling them close enough together for her to rest her head on his chest. Fitz hesitates for only a moment, before Jemma feels his arm fall across her shoulder, and his cheek rest against the top of her head.

‘Yes,’ she whispers, ‘yes, I’ll stay.’

 

* * *

 

 

‘I thought,’ Fitz complains the next morning, ‘that babies were supposed to be good at sleeping.’

If Jemma hadn’t been quite so tired, she might have rolled her eyes.

‘He’s sleeping now,’ she points out, nodding down to where Percy is lying, curled up in his pod. They have moved it into the lab so that they can keep an eye on him while they work, and every so often Jemma rocks it with her foot, hoping it will help him stay asleep. ‘That’s something at least.’

Fitz snorts, quietly, and crouches down by the pod. ‘Yeah, well, where was this incredible skill last night,’ he asks the sleeping baby, ‘huh, little man?’

The sight of him talking so gently to Percy, his fingers fiddling with the edge of his blanket, makes something turn over inside Jemma’s chest and she has to look away.

It had been a long night with their fussy alien charge, who had refused to sleep for more than twenty minutes at a time and had escaped from his pod to crawl across Fitz’s bedroom floor more than once. In fact, the two of them had gotten up so many times to sooth Percy, or carry him back to his pod, that Jemma had hardly been able to savour the feeling of sleeping next to Fitz again. She had fallen fast asleep anytime her head hit the pillow.

‘He must be tired out from meeting the others,’ she suggests. ‘I think Daisy and Elena must have passed him back and forth about a dozen times.’

Fitz chuckles. ‘It was lucky he started drooling when he did. I don’t think Yoyo would have given him back to you if he hadn’t.’

Remembering the introduction earlier that morning, Jemma grins. To say their team had been surprised when they turned up to breakfast with Percy would be an understatement. It had only been May who hadn’t looked at all amazed when they had approached their table, the baby in Jemma’s arms and gnawing on a rubber sphere Fitz had disinfected for him to teethe on.

‘I’d heard there was a baby on board,’ she had said to Jemma, watching as Daisy lifted Percy off Mack’s lap to bounce him on her own. ‘I couldn’t really imagine him being with anyone else except you two.’

Jemma had frowned, glancing up to where Fitz was hovering anxiously over Daisy as she lifted Percy high in the air. ‘What does that mean?’

May hadn’t answered her, but only gave her a smile and moved around the table to take the baby from Daisy, who passed him over reluctantly. Percy had stuck out a hand to grab at her nose, tweaking it in his little fingers, and Jemma had watched as May’s smile grew even wider.

Back in the lab, Fitz bends down to take some blueprints out of the filing cabinet next to their work bench. ‘Hopefully,’ he says, placing the plans behind him to dig further into the drawer, ‘now he’ll sleep long enough for us to actually get some work done.’

Jemma is about to hum her agreement when she hears the crackle of paper. Looking down, she frowns as she notices that the blueprints Fitz had just taken out of the cabinet are missing, and with a glance at Percy’s suddenly empty pod, understands exactly where they have gone.

‘Um, Fitz?’

He looks up at her. ‘Yeah?’

With one hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, Jemma points to where Percy is sitting a few feet away from them on a pile of blueprints. As they watch, he lifts one up and puts it over his head like a hat.

Fitz groans, and Jemma bursts out laughing. Evidently very pleased with himself, Percy laughs along with her, clapping his hands together delightedly. Sliding off her chair, Jemma crawls along the floor towards him and gently tugs the paper away.

‘I suppose, ’she says, ‘this is his way of telling us that naptime is over and now it’s time to play.’

‘Hmm.’ Fitz joins her on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of Percy. ‘I suppose it is.’

The baby stares up at him, before removing his blueprint hat and offering it to him eagerly. Fitz takes it, and Jemma watches as he tickles Percy lightly under the chin and a wide grin starts to spread across his face.

 

* * *

 

 

The three of them settle into a routine fairly quickly.

After a few more nights, Percy starts to sleep a lot better and for longer, especially after they move him from his pod to the cot Fitz and Mack assemble together. He is an early sleeper and an early riser, and Jemma finds that she is often the one who dresses him and feeds him in the morning, before passing him over to Fitz to play while she gets herself ready.

During the day, they balance his care fairly evenly, although Jemma notices that Fitz is still rather hesitant when it comes to holding Percy. If he ever needs to be lifted, or comforted, he always steps back to allow her to do it. It is not as though she minds – on the contrary, as the days go on Jemma finds that she is enjoying the feeling of holding a baby in her arms more and more – but she does begin to wonder whether she ought to ask him about it.

 In the evening, they both sit on either side of his cot until he falls asleep and then go to bed themselves in Fitz’s bunk.

They have had Percy for about a week before Jemma realises one key aspect of baby care they have been seriously neglecting. As she buttons him into a make-shift baby grow she had sewn the day before, she bends her head to sniff his neck and wrinkles up her nose.

‘Fitz, I think Percy needs a bath.’

Rubbing his eyes, Fitz swings his legs out of bed and blinks at her. ‘A bath?’

‘Yes, a bath. We haven’t washed him other than with wipes all week, and goodness knows when he’d had one before that.’

‘Alright then,’ Fitz sighs, as she sits next to him on the bed, balancing Percy on her knee. He gives the baby a weak smile, and receives a blown raspberry in return. ‘I guess that means today is bath day, little man.’

 

* * *

 

 

They decide it would be too difficult to bath him in the communal shower rooms, and head to the kitchens instead. There, Fitz fills a sink full of warm water and spreads a towel out on the washboard.

‘You’ll have to test the water before we put him in it,’ Jemma points out. In her arms, Percy is staring at the sink with interest. ‘Dip your elbow in, see if it’s too hot.’

Fitz nods, and rolls up his shirt sleeve. Jemma tries not to stare at the curve of his bicep as he lets his elbow dip into the sink. After a moment, he nods, stepping back and wiping the water off his arm. ‘Yep. That’s a good temperature.’

 Carefully, Jemma tries to deposit Percy into the water, but having come this far, the baby suddenly tries to resist, clinging to her with a sudden cry.

‘Shh, shh,’ she soothes him, whilst unsuccessfully trying to remove his grabbing fingers from where they have winded into her hair. Percy wails again as his feet touch the water and Jemma winces. ‘Fitz, can you…’

‘Yeah, got it.’ Stepping up behind her so that his front brushes her back, he combs his fingers through her hair, gently pushing Percy’s out as they go. ‘Come on, Percy, time for a bath.’

With a great deal of kicking and splashing and crying (from Percy, that is, not them), they finally manage to sit him in the water. Having made such a fuss, it only takes Percy a few seconds to decide that he likes baths after all. His tears dry up almost instantly, and he begins to pat his tiny palms against the water with delight.

With a relieved sigh, Jemma straightens up. It is only then that she notices that the whole front of her t-shirt has been soaked through with Percy’s splashing, and is clinging to her body in a way that leaves little to the imagination. When she glances up to see Fitz staring at her, she realises that she is not the only person to have noticed this.

Fitz looks away as soon as she catches his eyes, as if she had caught him doing something wrong, and for a moment Jemma feels a flare of irritation – he is her boyfriend, after all, and she has nothing against him staring at her boobs. In fact, she rather wishes he _would_.

But then she remembers how guilty she had felt looking at the strength of his arms only moments ago, and reaches for the towel to dry herself off.

It takes a little while to wash Percy clean. He seems highly amused by the flannel Jemma tries to use to wipe over his body, and keeps trying to stuff it into his mouth. Fitz attempts to distract him by flourishing his rubber ball in his face, but it is only a matter of time before that ends up between Percy’s gums too.

Finally, Jemma lifts him out of the sink and into a towel, ducking as he shakes water droplets out of his hair. Squirming in her arms, Percy grunts and reaches out one chubby arm to Fitz, straining so far that Jemma almost drops him.

She raises one eyebrow. ‘Do you want to take him?’

Fitz hesitates, and for a moment Jemma thinks that he might say yes. But then he shakes his head. ‘Nah, it’s okay. He likes you best.’

‘He likes you too,’ Jemma argues, using a corner of the towel to dry Percy’s hair. ‘He almost slithered out of my arms a moment ago trying to get to you.’

‘Hmm.’ Fitz mumbles his agreement and reaches out a finger. Percy grabs it eagerly and for once doesn’t try to stick it in his mouth. ‘Can’t imagine why.’

‘Oh, Fitz, why _wouldn’t_ he?’ He shrugs, and Jemma shakes her head.

‘Maybe you remind him of his father,’ she suggests gently. ‘He might be missing him.’

‘Yeah,’ Fitz says hoarsely. ‘Might be.’

Watching him stare at Percy, and at the way he was rubbing his thumb over the baby’s tiny fingers, Jemma bites her lip.

‘Or,’ she says quietly, ‘maybe he just knows that he’s safe with you. That you’ll keep him safe.’

Fitz’s lips twitch and he looks up at her. When she smiles at him over Percy’s head, Jemma hopes that he can see how much she believes that.

 She offers him the baby again, and this time Fitz takes him into his arms.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Ready…steady…go!’

Crouching on the ground in the space station corridor, Jemma releases Percy from where she has been holding him under his armpits. Percy wobbles, before falling backwards onto his bottom. He looks up at her incredulously, as though he is deeply offended she would let go of him quite like that, and Jemma almost laughs at how adult his expression is.

‘Percy!’

At the sound of Fitz’s voice, calling the name he is starting to recognise as his own, Percy’s head turns around, his mouth falling open into a little purple _o_. At the other end of the hallway Fitz is waving at him, lying on his belly on the floor.

‘Percy! Over here!’

Percy looks up at Jemma, blinking his violet eyes at her.

‘Look!’ Jemma points down the corridor to where Fitz is now pulling a funny face to try and grab the baby’s attention. ‘Look, Percy. Who’s that?’

All of a sudden, the game seems to click and, with a crow of delight, Percy falls forward onto his hands and knees and starts to crawl down the passageway towards Fitz. Sitting back on her heels, Jemma watches him.

Cooped up on a space station, there was very little space to exercise a nine month old baby and only so many times that they were content to play peek-a-boo. The corridor races had been Fitz’s idea, to try and get Percy moving more and with any luck, keep him entertained. Tucked away in one of the back passages of the station, it feels to Jemma like they have been racing him along it for hours, but she can also see that none of them are about to tire of it anytime soon.

Watching Percy crawl down the corridor to Fitz, she can’t help feeling proud.

‘Yes!’

When Percy reaches him, Fitz laughs with glee and catches him around his middle, rolling onto his back with the baby in his arms. As he lifts him up into the air above him, so Percy is flying with his legs and arms flung out like a starfish, Jemma runs along the corridor to join them.

‘A champion,’ Fitz declares, lowering Percy to sit astride his chest. ‘An absolute champion.’

Sinking down to sit at his side, Jemma grins.

The day they had given Percy his bath in the kitchen sink had been a turning point of sorts. In the days since, Fitz has grown more confident with the baby, lifting him and playing with him, and even carrying him on his hip down the hallway when Jemma’s arms get tired.

Yesterday, he had eagerly shown her the sling he had fashioned from a spare bed sheet like a baby bjorn, so that they could start carrying Percy around on their chests to leave their hands free. Jemma had been more delighted with his enthusiasm than the sling itself. In the weeks since, and even leading up to, their time in the Framework, he had shown little interest in using his hands to make anything and, even though the sling was hardly as high tech as his usual inventions, it made her chest feel lighter to see him get excited about being creative again.

Smiling, she reaches out to brush back the wisps of hair on top of Percy’s head. They have grown thicker, and darker, over the past couple of weeks and are starting to stand out more against the cobalt blue of his skin. Feeling her touch, Percy turns to her and grins, waving one of his arms out to take her hand. Jemma offers it to him and he squeezes her ring finger.

‘He’s so beautiful,’ she murmurs.

Fitz nods happily, his thumbs stroking Percy’s kneecaps on either side of his chest. ‘I mean, I’m not exactly sure whether the Kree standards of beauty are the same as ours but…I reckon he’s a pretty good looking baby.’

Jemma nods in agreement. ‘If I was his mother, I would be missing him so badly,’ she whispers, feeling a sudden pang in her heart.

Fitz looks up at her with surprise, and his throat bobs. ‘Yeah, I’m sure she is. But, Jemma…you’re doing an amazing job looking after him.’

‘Oh, you’re doing a lot of it.’

‘But you do the _most_.’ He fixes her with a pointed look. ‘You do most of his changing, he feeds better when you do it, and when he cries you comfort him quickest.’

There is no bitterness in the way Fitz says this, only admiration. He takes one hand from Percy’s leg to squeeze her knee.

‘If I was his mother,’ he says softly, ‘I would feel so much better knowing that someone like you was looking after him.’

Exhaling slowly, Jemma meets his eye and on her knee, she rests her own hand over his, hoping that he can see the silent _thank you_ in her smile. The way Fitz tips his head to one side and smiles back lets her know that he does.

Reaching over, Jemma takes Percy from his chest and presses a kiss to his tummy.

‘Ready for another go?’

 

* * *

 

 

‘It’s only a short excursion. Quick dash out to the satellite, fix the bug, and back in again. Job done in a couple of hours.’

Jemma isn’t quite sure whether Fitz is trying to reassure her or himself with this.

Since arriving at the space station, none of their team has set foot outside its walls into the vastness of the universe around them. This morning, however, Fitz, Mack and May had been asked to accompany a repair unit to a damaged satellite a few miles away, taking them away from the station for the day. Every time she thinks about it, about him leaving her and stepping out into the unknown, Jemma’s stomach tightens.

Sitting in the kitchen with Percy on her knee, who is noisily eating yogurt from a tube, she tries to smile for him.

‘You’ll be back before you know it.’

Fitz nods, pulling at the material of the skin-tight clothes he has to wear underneath his space suit. Grabbing a cloth from the table, he bends over to wipe Percy’s mouth, since the baby seems to be far more interested in painting his face with yogurt than he is in eating it.

‘Look after her for me, little man,’ he says quietly, making Jemma’s heart contract inside her chest. Fitz’s gaze flicks up to her for a moment, before he adds, ‘and don’t have too much fun that you forget to miss me.’

Jemma scoffs. ‘He won’t have any time to miss you,’ she says. ‘We’ve got a playdate scheduled with Daisy, then one with Elena, and Coulson has offered to take him stargazing this afternoon.’ She pauses for half a heartbeat before admitting, ‘ _I_ , on the other hand will have plenty of time to miss you.’

Fitz sighs, a ghost of a smile passing over his lips.

‘Like you said,’ he says, ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’

Pushing back the tears of worry threatening to fall, Jemma nods.

Stooping low, Fitz tickles Percy underneath his chin, making him giggle, and then, in a movement so fluid and natural it must be a part of his muscle memory, straightens up to kiss her on the forehead.

All at once, Jemma feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room.

It is not that it is the first time he has kissed her since his return from the Framework, and it is not that she had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed by him; the feel of his lips against her skin feels as familiar as though he had kissed her yesterday.

No, the reason why Jemma suddenly finds herself struggling to breathe is because the last person to kiss her on the forehead hadn’t been a person at all.

She must have frozen, her eyes glazing over, because Fitz pauses on his way out of the door and frowns.

‘Jemma?’

She tries to smile, to let him know she is fine, but she can’t have been convincing because Fitz crosses the room back to her, worry written across his face.

‘Jemma, what is it?’

He kneels by her side and puts out a hand to hold Percy steady on her lap.

‘What’s wrong?’

She hasn’t told him yet, the full story of how she had discovered his LMD and what it had done to her. That pain had still felt too raw, the horror of what she had needed to do still itching underneath her fingernails, to share with anyone else. He must have suspected but he hadn’t pushed her to say anything, just as she hadn’t pushed him.

Looking down into Fitz’s eyes as he stares up at her with such tender concern, Jemma takes a deep breath.

‘Could you…do that again?’ She gestures to her forehead. ‘Please?’

Fitz looks puzzled, but he has never denied her anything before. Wordlessly, he nods, and stands up.

This time, as his lips touch her hairline, Jemma closes her eyes to feel the last of the bad memory creep away from the gesture, and the joy of a new one seep in instead.

 

* * *

 

 

It is still dark when Jemma wakes up, the controlled overhead lighting letting her know it is still the station’s designated night, and she immediately reaches across the mattress for Fitz.

They have both been sleeping far better since she started spending the nights in his room. She isn’t quite sure whether it is the familiarity, the comfort of sleeping next to another person or simply because they love each other, but Jemma doesn’t really care.

All she knows is that she never wants to sleep apart from him again.

The sheets next to her are empty, but warm, as though the person who had been sleeping there had gotten up only a moment before, and Jemma blinks her eyes open.

Fitz is sitting on the floor next to Percy’s cot, his back pressed to the wooden slats. Percy is cradled in a blanket in his arms and fussing slightly, but Fitz is rocking him, evidently trying to soothe him back into sleep.

Carefully, Jemma slips out from under the blankets and pads across the floor towards them. Fitz glances up at the sound of her footfalls and smiles.

‘Morning.’

‘Not quite morning, I don’t think,’ she corrects him quietly, sitting beside him so that they are shoulder to shoulder. ‘It’s still dark.’

‘Yeah, well, I don’t think Percy got the message that darkness equals bedtime.’

Percy’s eyelids flicker at the mention of his name, and he gives a little huff before snuggling further into Fitz’s arms and tucking his nose into his armpit. Through the darkness, Jemma sees his grin grow wider.

‘Do you think he’s gotten bigger?’ she murmurs, tugging the blanket further down over Percy’s legs. ‘Since he first came to us?’

Fitz snorts. ‘Oh, he’s definitely grown. His hair’s gotten darker as well, _and_ he’s stronger than he was four weeks ago.’

And Percy isn’t the only one who has changed, Jemma thinks as she leans her head against the cot to watch the two of them. Four weeks ago, Fitz would never have been so content to hold Percy to his chest like that, and she herself would never have been half as confident to do the things she did now with him. It had even been a week since the last time she had gotten up in the middle of the night to check he was still breathing.

But perhaps the biggest change for both her and Fitz was the way they were with each other. Before Percy had come into their lives it had felt as if they were back to walking on eggshells, both desperate to keep close but both trying to maintain the distance that they thought the other wanted. Percy had forced them together again, close enough together to realise that neither of them wanted to be apart.

There was still quite a way to go before they were back to the place they had been – but perhaps they never would be there again.

Maybe, Jemma thinks, they were going to find a new, even better place to be.

‘Hey,’ Fitz says quietly, and when she looks up there is a spark of mischief in his eyes, ‘remember when you almost dropped him yesterday?’

She rolls her eyes. ‘I _didn’t_! And, anyway, he was struggling, and you said yourself he’s growing and getting stronger…’

‘So strong you can hardly lift him anymore.’

Jemma nudges him, gently, in the arm. ‘Well, then, I suppose it’s lucky I’ve got _you_ to lift him for me.’

Fitz’s smile wavers, but doesn’t fade completely. He looks down at Percy, soundly back to sleep in his arms. Jemma watches him, waiting.

‘I was worried,’ he says eventually, ‘when we first got him that I wouldn’t know how to look after him properly, and not just because I’ve never been around babies before. I was worried that, instead of being me around him, I would be who I was in the Framework.’

Jemma nods. She had already suspected this was the reason why he had been nervous, but it still made her heart feel heavy to hear the confirmation.

‘I know that I’m not,’ Fitz says, with a sudden ferocity to his voice. ‘I know that. _I_ choose who I am, and I don’t choose that. But I was scared that I would be.’

‘I know,’ Jemma whispers, resting a comforting hand on his arm.

For a moment they sit side by side in the darkness, feeling the truth settle around them. Jemma feels Fitz’s shoulders sag, as if the confession has liberated him of some great weight and he is finally able to relax.

‘But,’ he continues, with a slight, excited tremor to his voice. ‘I’m not. I can hold him, and I can play with him and feed him and bath him. I love doing it, and I love it when he smiles at me. I can be gentle with him,’ he says softly and, with a turn of his head, looks down at her. ‘I can be gentle with _you_.’

Tears start to overspill onto Jemma’s cheeks, and she half-laughs as she nods. Pulling herself even closer to his side, she tucks her hand into his elbow and rests her head on his shoulder. In her lap, she pulls his free hand into hers, locking their fingers together tightly.

‘Of course you can,’ she tells him. ‘I never doubted that you could.’

She feels Fitz smile against her hair, and impulsively lifts her head to plant a soft kiss to his earlobe.

‘Maybe now you can start to be gentle with yourself.’

 

* * *

 

 

When they are told that a way has been found to send Percy back to the Kree, Jemma feels like her stomach has plummeted to her shoes. The back of her throat burns, and she has to sniff hard, despite always knowing that their arrangement was only temporary.

She had always known that, sooner or later, Percy had to go home.

‘Of course he can’t stay with us,’ she says to Fitz, Percy held on her hip as they walk to the station’s loading bay. ‘Of course he has to go home, to his own people. We can’t keep him, it wouldn’t be right and it wouldn’t be practical. I know that, I’ve always known that, but…’

‘But,’ Fitz finishes, ‘that doesn’t mean you’re not upset about it.’

The way he is still able to read her thoughts so accurately makes Jemma smile in spite of everything.

They have reached the loading bay where Percy’s pod, extended slightly to accommodate for how much he has grown over the last month, is waiting for him to be strapped into.

‘Is that what he’s going back in?’

‘Yeah,’ Fitz says, ‘but it’s perfectly safe. I’ve checked the coordinates and the pod’s engineering myself. He’ll be back home within a few hours, and thanks to the GPS tracker, we’ll be able to see that he is.’

Jemma nods, taking hold of Percy’s tiny fist and detangling her necklace from his grasp. Percy babbles, and pets her cheek affectionately with his palm. Jemma takes a hold of his hand and presses a kiss to it.

‘It’s okay to be upset, Jemma,’ Fitz says softly. He reaches out, turns her towards him and rubs at her shoulder with his thumb. ‘You’re _allowed_ to be upset.’

Meeting his gaze, Jemma sees unwavering support shining in his eyes, alongside the steady love and warmth that has been her constant for the last twelve years. Deep in her heart, she knows that it always will be. He’s not going to leave her. Never again.

Taking a deep breath, Jemma lifts her head to kiss Percy one last time, letting her lips linger on his cheek for just a moment longer than necessary. Then, she passes him over to Fitz, who kisses the tip of his nose and tosses him a little in the air, making Percy squeal with delight.

They carry him over to his pod and settle him inside.

‘Bye-bye, little man,’ Fitz says, before lowering his head to whisper just loud enough for Jemma to hear him say, ‘ _thank you for everything_.’

Together, they step back as Percy’s pod is loaded into the launcher. The countdown begins, and then, with a sudden rush of air that leaves Jemma’s ears ringing, the pod is shot into space, following its designated route home.

By her side, Jemma feels Fitz’s fingers brush her own as they stand by the window, watching the pod move further and further away, until it resembles one of the most distant stars more than it does a miniature shuttle.

‘Are you okay?’ he asks her.

Jemma nods, and is surprised to find that it is a genuine one. She _is_ going to miss Percy; she will miss holding his warm body to her own and she will miss playing with him and marvelling at him grow. She will miss the moments she had with him, but over the last couple of weeks there had been a secret hope growing inside her – that, one day, she will get to experience those moments all over again, with a child of her own. A child, she is daring to hope, of her _and_ Fitz’s own.

‘Yeah,’ she says, and sighs, flexing the hand that isn’t holding his. ‘My arms just feel rather empty, that’s all.’

Fitz nods, as if he understands, and then hesitates.

‘Well, maybe…maybe one day, we could fill them again.’ He glances down at her, and Jemma sees her own hope reflected in his eyes. ‘You and me?’

‘You and me,’ she agrees softly.

The words, held safely on her tongue, are both a promise and a celebration of them.

 

 


End file.
